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EXCLUSIVE: 'Drone Transitions', a single from the upcoming Ela Stiles LP

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For your listening pleasure, we’re stoked to bring you ‘Drone Transitions’, a single off the upcoming debut LP from Ela Stiles. Check it out:

Ela has built a name for herself as an adept musician: she’s a member of Songs, and also Bushwalking. Now she’s going solo with a record comprised entirely of a-capella performances. We love her. And we at The Lifted Brow love Bedroom Suck Records in general: both the music they release, and how they go about it. You can read more about Ela over at the Bedroom Suck Records site, and check out the mixtape BSR made for us a while back:

We’ll be posting a full review of Ela’s LP in a few weeks time.

Ela Stiles Tour Dates

Friday 04 April - Electric Playground, Brisbane
w/ Primitive Motion, Dollar Bar + J. Francis
tix - http://tickets.oztix.com.au/?Event=42802

Saturday 16 April - Evelyn Rooftop, Melbourne
RECORD STORE DAY w/ Clag, Full Ugly + Tim Richmond
tix - http://evelynhotel.oztix.com.au/Default.aspx?Event=42606


Excerpt: "Animal Stories", by Max Lavergne

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"This was the best summer ever," the seagull gushed, watching her as she dangled her legs off the edge of the pier.

"Could you tell me why that is," she wondered, looking at the water in which the seagull was reflected. His reflection was broken into thin ribbons of seagull.

He looked at her like he was confused. It was his way of saying no.

"I know it’s hard," she said, "but I’d like you to try to think of why this was the best summer ever. I don’t expect your answers to be all about me. I’m a grown-up woman." What she meant was that she understood if there were things about this summer that were important to him that didn’t include her.

The seagull preened his wing and pretended not to hear her. He was nervous.

"Did you eat an extra tasty chip, maybe," she asked acidly. He stopped what he was doing and looked at her. "You’ve still got all your feet," she continued, smoothing down her tennis skirt and resting her elbows on her knees. "That must feel good."

He resented what she was implying, which was that he was just a dumb scavenging bird, and he felt his emotions bubbling up in his throat. “The night we made all those crazy sandwiches,” he blurted out. “And the meteorite shower. And I’ve really enjoyed just spending time with you.”

She looked at him scornfully. “Uh huh,” she said, and rolled her eyes, and there was a big loud thunderclap and a rush of low, pitch-black clouds seemed to form a terrifying demonic face in the air above them in the second before a an intense rain blast showered down onto the seagull’s head. He shook his head to clear the water from his eyes. “Did you make that happen?” he asked her.

"Yes," she replied, but she hadn’t really: she was just a dramatic person who was fond of imagining that dramatic things that happened to her happened as a direct result of her personal narrative.


This is one of the four Animal Stories by Max Lavergne appearing in The Twelfth Edition: The Lifted Brow Digital Edition, Volume 6, Issue 2. Get the app and download your copy now!

A Mixtape by Ella Hooper

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Remember Killing Heidi, of 'Weir' and 'Mascara' fame? Ella Hooper, their former frontwoman, just made us a mixtape. Here’s what she has to say about it:

"This is a rainy Sunday playlist (true to the day it was compiled on) and therefore it is a little sad, a bit dreamy and a pinch sexy, with pockets of hopeful groove poking out from behind the clouds. One must never end a playlist on a bummed note or ‘sad song’ — though they are oh so nice to indulge in.

It’s a mix of my old favourites (Harry Belafonte) and current obsessions (Holiday Sidewinder) — songs that should make you want to sing into your porridge spoon whilst scrap booking or looking at old photos. It’s meant to be a bit of an aural mohair blanket.”

Check it out:

Ella Hooper - A Mix for the Lifted Brow by The Lifted Brow on Mixcloud


Here’s ‘Low High’, the lead single off Ella’s forthcoming album In Tongues:


She’s being supported at the Northcote Social Club this Friday night by Jack Colwell, who made a mixtape for us last week. Check out his latest track, ‘Far From View’:

“100 Notes on an Xlr8nst Linguistics”, by Max Trevor Thomas Edmond

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Photograph by Anne Petersen. Reproduced under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Licence.


  1. [deleuze on teh portmanteau adn nonsens werd ov lewis carol etc (logic ov sense) adn in genral]
  2. "they belong 2 a synsthesis of coexistemce intended 2 garante teh conjunctn ov 2 series ov heteogenus propos8nz" (deluez).
  3. teh convegenc via teh bednign ov teh werd.
  4. removign teh recognisabel - teh recigniesd ties.
  5. bt cre8ign futehr ties.
  6.  + teh gaps cre8 ‘biger’ maenign (de landa); ie confusn or angr respon2 a gap/maenign 2big.
  7. tyign 2gehter moer tihng. openign spaec 4moer insertion ov content. oferign spaec 2teh lisner
  8. teh confusn is teh functnign ov a retyign. iz alrdy teh functnign ov ‘undrestadnabel’ langug; teh solution closre 2 hand. ov filign teh spaec(s) maed by werds.
  9.  
  10. "it circul8 thruout teh 2 dimensionz ov alimntry adn semiological orality" (deleuez)
  11. —> confusn in oral80 - teh ownership/posesion ov langaug by/in teh muoth. teh oral monumnt adn oralities-proprieties. comunic8iv feed thru tihs monument. empathies thru tihs sturctuer. (so also ownrsip ov teh mouts; oens ‘own’ mouht… teh ned2 own it, 2 ster it; 4 oenself adn 4 ohtrs —> also sterign ohtrs’ mouhtsz)
  12. taht wut iz raed run thru teh capac80z ov teh muoth. [teh overflowign ov tehse capac80s? fedign in2 ohter registerz - e.g. emotional]
  13. teh apropriabil80 ov teh werd - ov teh nonsens werd - ov taht wich is not ‘understod’ in teh literal regiser. e.g. teh ‘unpronuncable monosyllable’ (deleuze via lewis carol).
  14. bt also taht wut wol b receivd frm ne comunc8n wol b internal 2teh recievr newai. only a internal fascimile, baesd on teh capac80s ov/in a receptn (a rel8iv80-comparsn-analgoy)
  15. receiv wut oen wol wan2 reciev - subject 2/ov prefrenc - haer wut oen wol ned2 haer.
  16. so too in caes ov nonsens/devianc. tehre iz a truht in tehs comunc8nz-xpresnz…
  17. teh rejection ov nonorm8iv langaug iz only a reprsnt8n ov a choic-dispositn-atitued-positn. it iz nt ultim8ly confusgn or illegibel.
  18. bt confusn/ilegibil80 iz chosen, az dipositn: dispositn-az-limit8n.
  19. teh rejection expres a positn ov rejectn. ov wuntign-nedign 2 reject; sekign teh benefitz-nuorihsmetnz ov rejet soemtihgn. only usign a sturctural, aesthetic or orthograhpic devianc az teh vehicel ov rejection. wich iz by teh saem toekn as a vehicel ov suport. ov confirm8n adn aceptanc ov teh comunc8iv act.
  20. teh suport ov teh self; teh afirmatn ov a self - a monumnt - a lagnauge - in teh rejectn ov anohter.
  21. so showign teh lvl 2 wich teh rejectign subject - teh subjct ov rejectn - reliez on truth, proprity, az an emotnal crutch.
  22. teh xtent 2wich turth iz a necesary factor ov subsistenc.
  23. taht evrthng iz undrstod. taht undrstandign iz evrthng.
  24. evn wen undrstod az confusion. teh confusn has a functn - taht iz wut iz comunc8d.
  25. it wol opnign up a spaec in teh receivr. teh maenign iz equaly transmitd.
  26. teh unerstadnign - iz in teh rel8n ov movmenz-forcez.
  27.  
  28.  
  29. Teh werd iz maleable [ne form ov comunic8iv unit iz a werd. az suhc a maenign-unit-standard].
  30. It wuz nevr ben static.
  31. bt teh werd iz nt teh object ov focus in teh comunc8iev raelm newai. teh sentence or teh discouerz moer imporant. showign teh pasage(s); procesez/practics ov comunc8n. lienz-linaegez goign in varius drectnz/intersectign.
  32. it iz nt an objct - it iz nt recald or rest8d bt remaed or refoermd.
  33. it relyz on tihs 4itz functionign; 4it must beign abel 2 continuign -> iz necsarly continuign.
  34. evn a werd hav remand/sustaind/sub6td itz pronucn8n adn maenign haev chaeng. itz re-ferencz r recogniesabl; or a lineaeg col b drawn - linaeg ov maenign - context ov itz [posibel; projectd] maenignsz acordign 2a aesth8ic-morphological projectn.
  35. its loci - its proxim80s, 2 itself, 2 itz ohterz. rel8nshipz. shift rep8dly
  36. teh devlopment ov unitz-sequencez-expresions thru tehir beign sequencd-expresd.
  37. it iz given toward/by a contxt,
  38. it anticip8z itz own givign/beign given. [anticip8nz baes in itz rel8nz-histryz; itz capac80 4 extensn; az alowd by itz ‘skilz’ adn boundaryz. itz personal80/natuer.
  39. it develops thru environmntz. az a pasaeg. wut col goign newer, ocupy ne spaec; maeng netihgn; bt wolnt chosign 2. wol chosign acordign 2 a prefrenz/privleg.
  40. itz anticip8ns: (….) anticip8ng itself in2 a futuer; anticip8nz-undrstadnignz:
  41. varoius pasaegs-potenialsz baes on it stadnardsz-lim8s.
  42. teh werd divergign - split - spraed - 2 anticip8ign moer. or
  43. malaebel stadnaerd - col 2 beign infleunc bi it surundign.
  44. teh werd a standard/unit ov potenialz. taht wer it col moer adn les faesibly go. also acordign 2teh conventnz-normal80s ov itz envirnment.
  45. holdign position - bt abel 2 beign movign. adn depedn on wer had movign 2/thru - wer it col 2mvign nect.
  46.  
  47.  
  48. teh conventnz by wich a movment wol2 qualify az a werd aer losenign adn tehn disolvign.
  49. teh werd az teh unit ov maesuer in comunc8n - az in teh unific8n ov mater in2 comunicabel formz-formaliz8nz.
  50. so also teh werd recliamign itz use/value az imaeg.
  51. poetry spraedign owt in2 genral spaech.
  52. teh becomign-sequencez/code/etc. ov sentences-unitz
  53. [comunc8iv fluid80 lmao jk]
  54. laevign behind ov syntactical norm8iv80
  55. evn aestehtic normativ80
  56. bcuz tehre iz moer 2b said.
  57. liek art - goign thru a modernism adn postmodernism and furhter.
  58. a linguistic cubism.
  59.  
  60. teh rel8n betwen teh oral werd, teh facial werd, taht ov teh hadn, teh percievabel werdz-monumentz, actinz-movmenz.
  61. teh general distrbutnz.
  62. in teh philosophical.
  63. teh liberty ov teh writr 2 makign up werdz/concepts etc. 2 suit tehir rprsnt8ns. manipul8gn werds-senteces-liens-pasaegs.
  64. 'bildign a rehtoirc' - 2bild a brand. 2 extedn/devolop/confirm wut iz alrdy afectievly a lagnueg. in itz afectz on teh envirnment etc. itz xpresns-comunc8ns. xtended-emphasiesd in teh verbal.
  65. teh utilis8n ov langaug for oens own purpoess-gaols-nedes. teh graspign ov languge via a langag. teh purpoes ov a locus - itz pur-posign ov infmr8n-mater-rael80.
  66. "both teh cre8n ov concept adn teh institutign ov teh plaen r requierd" (deluez-guatari)
  67. teh plaen ov imanence - teh containment ov material.
  68. not teh containter bt teh containment - ? - teh moed or maner ov containment. tihs is wut iz intitute - in teh st8ment. teh st8ment az equ8d wit a ‘philosphy’. an ethos or lagnuag wut iz xpresd oer nfoercd in teh st8mnt. in teh aragnment/sentenc.
  69. a lagnaug wut iz nt ‘personal’ in teh sens ov teh inividul; bt is a comunc8iev linaege itselv. a unific8n ov comunc8iev liens,
  70.  
  71. teh monument disolvign in2 rhythmz etc….
  72. teh philsophcal spraedign owt 2teh mass - philosophy iz no longr a monument external 2teh cultuer (or evn internal 2teh cultuer bt exclusiev) - bt iz reclaimign itz internal80 2teh self in genral. cn b formd-muoldd/reformd/remulded frm ne arae ov comunc8n.
  73. 2teh genral st8ment. (tihs iz teh purpoes ov teh ongoign discusion ov ideology - teh normalisign ov internal80 adn teh reduction/balancign ov external80-monumental80… [intrnal 2 langug/xpresn; 2teh body; 2a cultur/culturis8n])
  74. tho it iz uesful, teh monumnt iz 2no longr neces80. tihs memory - as retainign - az wihtolign - az preservign - iz no longr necesary 2functn. teh memory is xtrnal.
  75. teh faer ov teh worng (ohter) iz obsollet. adn iz wut brigns abt obsolescence. in teh perfection ov teh moument iz inscriebd itz lak ov longev80. itz completion corespondent 2 a temporal80; a temporal ehtos.
  76. teh manipul8n ov ‘language’ as-self.
  77. tho - langag as mass, as proces, as penetr8n etc. - wat rly beign manipl8d haer… teh langug ov teh self (necesarily, but becomign moer pronuncd…)
  78. teh langaueg as-self. teh use ov language as self. langaug az teh manipul8n.
  79. teh proces of intereaction betwen forces - the procesign ov forces by aech ohter.
  80. teh brignign ov langag (bak) in2 teh raelm ov teh ‘self’
  81. moer imporanly 2teh raelm ov afect - ov movmnt - wut iz ov ‘expresion’
  82. teh atainment ov humn80 in teh becomign-animal
  83. [ghost in teh shell - teh atainment ov perfection bringign owt teh failuer ov human80]
  84. belief in langaueg.
  85. teh (re)aceptanc ov langaug in2 belief.
  86. non apathetic ues ov langaeg. non apath8ic comunc8n.
  87. langueg iz spraedign owt in2 teh envirnmnt. formign overlapz. nu ties cre8d betwen teh werd adn teh tihng, teh werd-az-tihng adn teh tihng-az-werd.
  88. it iz no longer containd in/by teh lingutsic monumnt.
  89. teh werd, teh maenign maed only b aluded2. refrncd. or trigerd.
  90. itz alusionz found/cre8d only in afect.
  91. teh maenign discoverd, not projectd.
  92. a loosenign ov teh expect8n + contorl ov a comunc8n.
  93. teh comunc8n az teh questn. az askign 4 maenign rahter tahn directign it.
  94. explorign teh field ov maenign.
  95. teh werd iz stil teh contorl ov teh ohter. teh entering/penetr8n ov teh ohter’s body.
  96. teh coice ov werd iz stil teh control - diction/dict8n etc. of a receptn.
  97. teh choice is ov, by, wihtin, as teh ‘subject’ (plz noet mulpel maenign - Teh Subject + teh subject ov a convrs8n + grammatical subjct)
  98. bt owtsied ov teh asumption ov/beleif in teh power ov subjciv80.
  99. taht the raeder nednt aprehend or folow directly teh comunc8n as conceivd by teh ‘spaeker’…
  100. teh werd iz spraedign owt - teh individul werd - spraedign owt in2 and byond teh sound. the monument taht iz teh werd iz disolvign in2 teh imaeg - in2 teh coed wich sustains teh imaeg on watevr platform.


Max Trevor Thomas Edmond is a writer and editor from Auckland, New Zealand.

From the Archive: "Matt LeMay Recommends The Green Pajamas"

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Illustration by Sarah Howell.

I’ve never had to rediscover All Clues Lead to Meagan’s Bed. In the eleven years since the album’s release, I’ve listened to it reliably at least once a month, usually closer to once a week, sometimes two or three times a day. Were my continued interest in the album purely nostalgic, this would probably say more about me than it does about the record itself—but listening to All Clues never evokes a specific time, place or person for me. If anything, the particular inflection of the record seems to have changed as I’ve grown up. It’s one of very few albums that I consistently recommended without reservation, and one of even fewer albums that I can describe as “emotionally edifying” without feeling like a complete asshole.

I read about All Clues Lead to Meagan’s Bed in the seemingly infallible pages of Magnet, right at the tail end of the magazine’s 1990s heyday. I likely ordered it along with seven to ten other CDs from cdnow.com, as was the style at the time. My first couple weeks with the album were spent fixated on “Morning in Myra’s Room”—something about the way Magnet had described that song led me to believe that it would be my favourite, and I was more than happy to prove myself right. In retrospect, I realise that I had actually spent a good deal of time imagining what “Morning in Myra’s Room” would sound like before I ever heard it; my obsessive replaying of the song was probably a means of reconciling the song itself with the imaginary song I had looked forward to hearing.

Once I felt comfortable diving into the whole record, I did what any self-respecting teenage boy would do and listened carefully for “crush songs”. My interest in girls and my interest in indie rock developed largely in tandem, each presenting itself as an insatiable curiosity bound to be misunderstood by those around me. If somebody asked me what music I listened to, I would answer, “oh, jeez, I don’t know… weird stuff.” If somebody asked me what girl I liked, I would answer, “oh, jeez, you know… nobody.” The true answers to both of these questions were equally zealous, spittle-flecked, scrawled in blood—but I could never, EVER bring myself to just say them. Finding a song that seemed to contain some sideways reference to a girl I liked was a chance to externalise my tormented emotional world without having to say “OK RACHEL IT’S RACHEL I HAVE A CRUSH ON RACHEL.” It was just a little secret kept between me and, say, They Might Be Giants’“I’ve Got a Match”.

All Clues Lead to Meagan’s Bed proved a difficult album for “crush songs”, as it is riddled with both specific physical descriptors (hair and eye colour) and actual women’s names. I thought that “The Secret of Her Smile” could be my “crush song” for a girl named Piera, until I realised that the song’s chorus contains the name “Samantha”. Totally ruined—and this was after I had convinced myself that Piera had “Danish bones” per the song’s second verse, even though I still have no idea what would make a girl’s bones more or less Danish. Jeanette got “Queen of Sunshine”, then “Death by Poisoning”, then “Deep Blue Afternoon”, then “Death by Poisoning” again (Jeanette got almost every song at one point), but I could never fully project her into any of them. Much like my teenage brain, Jeff Kelly’s lyrics were full of pale, moonlit flesh. But Kelly’s voice as a writer was so distinctive—the Catholic guilt, the gothic imagery, the velvet and silk—that I could never quite hear it as my own.

Perhaps it was this sense of distance that compelled me to write The Green Pajamas a fan letter—to this day the only honest-to-goodness fan letter I’ve ever composed. I’ve written my share of utterly earnest “hey, I love your music and I’d love to work with you” letters, but only The Green Pajamas have received a letter from me with absolutely zero agenda other than to express my appreciation. I remember nothing about the letter itself (actually an e-mail), other than that it was titled “A Fan Letter, I Suppose” and that it described All Clues Lead to Meagan’s Bed as an album that “seems to exist in a world of its own”—perhaps my way of unconsciously acknowledging that I was unable to make the album fit into my world. I received a lovely response from the Pajamas’ Joe Ross, but was mostly satisfied just to have sent the letter in the first place. I wasn’t looking for positive feedback—which, considering both my personality and the age I was at the time, is actually quite something.

By the time I got to college, my quest for “crush songs” had given way to an interest in “bad relationship songs”. “Crush songs” only really work because you can easily elide any differences between the person you imagine your crush to be and the person you imagine a song to be about—“yeah, you know what, her bones are TOTALLY Danish.” When you’re flailing through real-life relationships with real-life people, the gap between romantic fantasy and lived experience can become almost comically exaggerated and cruel. Suddenly, the most resonant and disarming lyrics weren’t the ones that could maybe sorta describe the girl I liked, but rather the ones that definitely described the shitty things I knew about the relationship I was in. Once again, I was looking for music that already knew the things that I couldn’t admit to the world at large—and, once again, All Clues didn’t quite fit the bill. There is absolutely nothing on All Clues that could be labelled as incisive, biting, uncomfortably true. Which, thankfully, means that there has never been a time when I couldn’t bring myself to listen to the album. Even in the midst of a horrifically deluded relationship or a miserable breakup, I could count on All Clues Lead to Meagan’s Bed to not be an emotional minefield. There would be no cathartic “FUCK YOU, RECORD, YOU KNEW THIS WAS A BAD IDEA ALL ALONG.”

So, here’s the question that I’ve been grappling with: if All Clues Leads to Meagan’s Bed has consistently failed to resonate with me in the egregiously self-absorbed ways that I generally gravitate towards, why do I listen to it all the damned time? Why have I never really stopped listening to it for eleven years, even though I’ve never considered it my “favourite” album?

The first and easiest answer is that All Clues Lead to Meagan’s Bed is simply an exquisite record. The vocal melodies are beautifully constructed and masterfully delivered, the instrumentals are arranged with architectural precision, and the songs have great bridges. Kelly writes guitar parts that breathe, all ebbs and flows, warm and biological. Maybe that’s why the ridiculous attention to detail on All Clues never seems cold or clinical: each little flourish and ornament seems like part of a single living organism. It’s only recently that I’ve even begun to pay much thought to what All Clues actually sounds like; it took me until last year to notice that the delay trails on the line “walls of jade” in album closer “Deep Blue Afternoon” repeat throughout the remainder of the verse. Only now am I noticing just how precisely the hand percussion tracks on “Queen of Sunshine” are panned.

Still, my love for All Clues goes beyond aesthetic and/or musical appreciation. The more abstract reason that I keep coming back to this record, I think, can also be found in “Deep Blue Afternoon”, when Kelly sings “she’s the start of everything, she’s the heart—heart of my being / and I love her so desperately, sometimes it’s hard to keep breathing.” The line itself isn’t that remarkable—what’s remarkable is that you believe him. Kelly does, in fact, sound breathless—but he also sounds eerily grounded. He isn’t singing about some doomed romantic fantasy, he’s singing about the Real Thing.

The convergence of youthful passion and grown-up certainty is an absolute rarity in pop music, and with the exception of a few stellar tracks on the Narcotic Kisses compilation, All Clues is the only time The Green Pajamas hit it head-on. The band’s earlier output does make for a fascinating counterpoint, in both its heavier-handed psych-rock affectations and its insecure and obsessive lyrical concerns. Kim the Waitress—the closest thing The Green Pajamas have ever had to a “hit”, owing to a relatively high-profile cover by Material Issue—is fraught, bitter and frighteningly possessive compared to the band’s later work. The call-and-response of “she’s pretty / and it bothers me” in the song’s bridge perfectly captures something I once related to far, far more than I would generally care to admit. Compare that with “The Secret of Her Smile” on All Clues, where unattainable beauty is no longer threatening or bothersome, and you get a pretty clear picture of Kelly’s maturation as a writer. As I get older, I’ve come to relate less to the fidgety bitterness of earlier Green Pajamas songs, and more with the moments on All Clues that once seemed the most distant and uncool.

Although the way I hear All Clues changes quite regularly, my eagerness to recommend the album to anyone and everyone has never really wavered. I’ve put a song from the album on almost every mixtape I’ve ever made, which would be blasphemous in the case of albums that are closely associated with a specific person and/or time. When I was a senior in high school, I recommended All Clues Lead to Meagan’s Bed to a friend’s fourteen-year-old sister, knowing absolutely nothing about her taste in music. It became her favourite album. I’ve long since fallen out of touch with both that friend and her sister, but I sometimes wonder if she’s now hearing the record the same way I did four years ago, at age twenty-three.

It would be corny to suggest that All Clues Lead to Meagan’s Bed taps into something universal about the way we want to love and be loved… but, eleven years later, this record still seems to know a lot of things that I don’t yet know. There are very, very few albums that manage to be deeply romantic and emotionally mature at the same time—usually “love” as in “love song” is deluded, damaging, dangerous, fucked up, enjoyed at the expense of the outside world or reality. Not so here. Somehow, Jeff Kelly found the thread that ties together childhood infatuation, teenage lust, and grown-up love—real, life-sustaining grown-up love. That I often think about this kind of love is a little secret kept between me and All Clues Lead to Meagan’s Bed.

This piece originally appeared in The Lifted Brow #11. Click here to buy the issue.

Matt LeMay is a Brooklyn-based and New York-born writer, musician and recording engineer. He is a senior contributor to Pitchfork Media, and the author of a book in the 33 1/3 series about Elliott Smith’s XO.

"The nexus between booze and sex is a rich and culturally productive one. Think of that particular..."

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“The nexus between booze and sex is a rich and culturally productive one. Think of that particular class of not-terribly-delicious cocktails whose names are constructed, German compound noun-style, by their component ingredients: the Long Slow Screw Against a Wall Maybe by the Beach Somewhere. Then there are the drinks whose linguistic explicitness is inversely proportional to their drinkability: Wet Panties, Sex on My Face, or—I swear I’m not making this up—Big Black Cock in My Virgin Ass.”

- from Chad Parkhill, “Tangled Up: Our Muddied Thinking About Alcohol and Rape”, a feature from The Lifted Brow #21: The Sex Issue. Buy your copy now!

"Puddinghead: A Review in Three Parts", by Dunja Kay

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Ball Park Music. Photo courtesy Inertia Music.

Not everyone likes a conventional music review. Trying to gauge what an album is like based on a review is probably about as fruitful an endeavour as trying to write about music at all.[1] Accordingly, the question for many people is not “what is the artistic merit of this album?”, but rather “is it as good as their last album?” or “will I like this?”. This “Review in Three Parts” is my attempt to answer all three questions at once.

 

  1. What is the artistic merit of this album?
  2. Before we dissect this, I’ll say that most of Puddinghead fits together really well. There is something nostalgically and wonderfully Australian about it, with its themes of suburbia and early love. Several tracks remind me of Powderfinger – and I mean that as a compliment. Powderfinger defined what it meant to sound Australian when we were growing up, so sounding like them in “an album that celebrates underdog leanings and rejoices in the love, loss and banalities of suburban Australian life”[2] (and that was recorded in Brisbane, Powderfinger’s home town) is actually a pretty good thing.

    But that sound doesn’t appear until “A Good Life Is The Best Revenge”, and what happens before then is worth discussing.

    “She Only Loves Me When I’m There” is a song that I was already familiar with because I had Shazam’ed it. It’s not my usual thing, but it’s just so damn catchy and it resonates with anyone who has ever felt loved out of proximity. Sam Cromack’s vocals are stretched just enough, without being showy, moving flawlessly from the jarring mood of the verses to the gentler bridge. It’s what a lead single should be and will likely draw many new listeners to Puddinghead.

    On to “Next Life Already”. I almost don’t want to write about it, because I’m going to be mean, and I know that artists pour blood, sweat, and tears into their work so a few breezy put-downs from a reviewer can be crushing. But I have had this stupid song stuck in my head for days, so I kind of feel like I’ve already been pre-emptively punished for what I’m about to write.

    Nothing about “Next Life Already” makes sense. It’s surrounded by songs that are pretty decent, yet it’s lyrically asinine (“I don’t want to tarnish / what appears to be / my perfect record / of blowing out my brains” – I don’t even care that this is figurative, you’re singing about breakups and getting fired, get a fucking grip) and melodically boring. More importantly, the rest of the album doesn’t sound anything like this song[3] and yet finding it at number two deterred me from listening to the album any further for a good week, out of fear that I’d have to put up with more of this. It’s got a vague Wheatus vibe, but without the nostalgia. If anyone, at any stage of the production of Puddinghead, argued that this song should have been left off the LP, then everyone needs to listen to that person in future.

    As I mentioned, a Powderfinger vibe plants itself around the third track and lingers throughout the remainder of Puddinghead. The brief guitar solo in “Teenager Pie” is like a microcosm of the best bits of this LP – it flows above the rest of the song with a bit of strength but without pretension – while “Trippin’ The Light Fantastic” is a smart party song. The chorus of vocals works in tandem with the keys to fill out the sound, and makes you think of slow motion dancing in festival tents.

    Paul Furness’s keys are again a standout in “Struggle Street”, even getting a bit Doors-y at times, and although I think the lyrics in the crescendo could be better suited to the sound, the song works overall.

    Then we get to “Error Playin”, which I am partial to because it contains two of my favourite things: pedals and pretty words. It’s a gentle and fluid song that would never be considered experimental from a shoegaze or dreampop band but is a beautiful tangent for Ball Park Music.

    The final two tracks are something of a return to the jaunty sound Ball Park Music has previously been known for. “Polly Screw My Head Back On” is dainty but Cromack’s vocals reel it in before it gets too twee, while “Girls From High School” is more steady, though I couldn’t really get past its lyrical content (I just couldn’t stop wondering why never getting to say goodbye to girls from high school is topical for anyone more than six months out of high school).

     

  3. Is it as good as their last album(s)?
    1. Happiness and Surrounding Suburbs
    2. Puddinghead is exponentially better than Happiness and Surrounding Suburbs. Look, I did my due diligence and listened to that album the whole way through, and I did not like it. So I’m going to give you an out here if you feel that Happiness and Surrounding Suburbs speaks to you in some real way: you should stop reading now, because we are operating on different wavelengths.

      But you came here looking for an answer. So here it is: there are a couple of tracks on Puddinghead that sound like they belong on Happiness and Surrounding Suburbs. These are “Next Life Already” and “Everything Is Shit Except My Friendship With You”.

    3. Museum
    4. I was shocked (in a good way) when I listened to Museum. What an improvement on Happiness and Surrounding Suburbs. It shows some actual progression, which is brilliant, because otherwise you run the risk of turning into Jack Johnson.

      Having said that: yes, it is as good as Museum– indeed, better. Puddinghead takes that warm familiarity that you feel when you hear a song like “Coming Down” and builds on it. Sure, it’s not as stark a contrast as between Happiness and Surrounding Suburbs and Museum, but Puddinghead is a sensible next step which reveals a conviction that perhaps wasn’t quite there in Museum. Maybe it’s because they weren’t touring while they wrote and recorded this latest offering, but if it’s this process that lent itself to progress, then that’s how Ball Park Music should continue to create their albums. Of course, it may also just be an effect of getting older, in which case they should keep doing that too.

     

  4. Will I like this?
  5. I’m going to assume here a lack of familiarity with Ball Park Music (as otherwise you’ll have jumped to Part 2 instead), in which case you probably fall into one of two categories.

    1. You are not a fan of the indie pop/rock promoted by Triple J.
    2. If you have some deep rooted hatred of Triple J (and I know there are a lot of you), then it doesn’t matter what I say, you’re going to hate Puddinghead out of principle, rather than anything to do with the album. No judgement here: I too used to have an intense dislike of all things Triple J.[4] They do peddle some horrendous shit (notably, Happiness and Surrounding Suburbs) but don’t hate the player, hate the game.

    3. You are a fan of the indie pop/rock promoted by Triple J.
    4. Um, if this is the case, I don’t really understand how it is that you’re not familiar with Ball Park Music. Are you new? They were nominated for the J Award in 2010, ffs.

 

In a nutshell: You’ll like this if you like Ball Park Music, especially if you like Museum more than Happiness and Surrounding Suburbs. You’ll hate this if you hate Triple J, but I still think you should get over that and start hating something more worthwhile (or just stop hating things – you’ll live longer!). I would recommend never listening to “Next Life Already”, not even to check whether I’m being overly harsh, as you run the risk of being unable to shake it off for days. I would, however, recommend repeated listening to “Error Playin” as it’s divine and makes you think of a whole lot of love makin’ (and I am generally repulsed by the phrase “making love” but there ain’t nothing else for this little number).

All up, Ball Park Music have pulled together a cohesive LP that plays with some new sounds without discarding their roots, though how you feel about this will be entirely contingent on what you already think of Ball Park Music. For my part, I think Puddinghead is a mostly significant stride forward for the members of a band who could easily have chosen to rest on their laurels (or at least their popularity) but who instead chose to slowly stretch their sound and, consequently, their audience.

 

Dunja Kay is a writer based in Adelaide.


[1] Which may explain why I find it more interesting to write about albums and artists within some kind of cultural context than to write about music itself.

[2] That’s from their press release. I could’ve rephrased it, but I thought I’d give credit where credit is due. Namely, to whoever wrote the Puddinghead press release.

[3] I guess the same could be said of “She Only Loves Me When I’m There”, but that one gets a pass because it’s the quintessential radio-ready lead single. Also, it doesn’t suck.

[4] It’s not so much that I’ve come around, as that I started watching Carl Sagan’s Cosmos and couldn’t bring myself to “hate on” things that aren’t categorically evil. For guidance as to what makes something categorically evil, I refer you to The Moral Landscape, by Sam Harris.

This is the first half of “Donut King Girl”, a comic...


Excerpt: "Two's Company – Three's A Working Relationship", by Zenobia Frost

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Photograph by Pietro Izzo. Reproduced under the Creative Commons 2.0 Licence.

Every now and then, I manage to pause The X-Files, leave the house and make a friend. Why? Because I’m low on Vitamin D, sunshine loves company and sometimes so do I. But I hit a dilemma in every ice-breaking chat: I have to decide, in a flash, whether to mention my double-boyfriend status.

It’s inevitable. New friends ask each other about work, passions, partners, cats (mostly cats). When I answer, do I mention only one partner (erasing the other)? Do I merge them, transformer-style, into one very talented mega-boyfriend? I could be up front – but honesty comes with complications.

I’m used to being quizzed about relationships and sexuality. For a fairly vanilla slice, I’ve dated across spectra of gender and age. I’ve had lovers live in my pocket and live overseas. I even once went out with a reverend. Mum has ceased to express surprise. Yet, of all the questions I’ve been asked, this one remains the most challenging: “How did you talk two men into this?”

The answer depends on the audience. There’s the cop-out quickie: a sly, flirty eyebrow-raise. The quip: “The harem is very comfortable.” And then there’s the real answer: My partners are two intelligent adults who gave their informed consent after a year’s worth of reading, thinking and conversation. The truth is that the only thing I’ve trained them in is how I like my morning cup of tea.

The long answer might be the one I prefer to give—I don’t want to end up listed in anyone’s phone as “Hugh Hefner”—but it’s a gateway to stickier topics: ethical nonmonogamy and consent. Critical discussion surrounding these concepts remains relatively new. Consent, on its own, has been waiting since the dinosaurs to become a hot topic; it was Jaclyn Friedman’s 2011 essay “The (Nonexistent) Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Consequences of Enthusiastic Consent” that got the ball rolling for me.

 

This is an excerpt from The Lifted Brow #21: The Sex Issue. Get your copy now to read the rest of the story!

Featured Contributor: Rory Kennett-Lister browcontribs: Rory...

"In an old warehouse on the outskirts of Cologne, Germany, Shia LeBeouf is jerking at his..."

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“In an old warehouse on the outskirts of Cologne, Germany, Shia LeBeouf is jerking at his medium-sized, flaccid penis, trying to give it some girth and heft for his upcoming close-up. Everything depends on this moment but clearly his penis didn’t get the memo. Penises don’t understand the highly oppressive political hierarchies of the film industry, penises don’t realise how hard it is for an actor to be taken seriously after making a name for himself on a TV show that rhymes and a movie about giant toys. Penises don’t give a toss about anything but a toss and a warm moist hole.”

- from Briohny Doyle, “Pony Cunt Nightmare”, a story from The Lifted Brow #21: The Sex Issue. Buy your copy now!

Out Now: Digital Edition, Volume 7, Issue 1!

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Have you ever eaten a dessert pizza? Have you felt it running down your chin, dripping on your clothes, maybe matting your beard? Have you wondered at its crunch—specifically, how it can coexist with the gooey sweetness of the toppings?

Reading this Dessert Pizza Edition of The Digital Lifted Brow is a little bit like that.

In this issue, you’ll find new poetry from Zoe Dzunko, short prose from Oliver Mol, and a sandy comic from Daryl Seitchik. This delicious combination is garnished with classics from Rory Kennett-Lister and Simon Groth.

If you haven’t already, hurry over to iTunes, get the app, and download your copy now!

Call-out for submissions to our 'Ego' issue

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At the Brow, we’ve noticed that more and more people pitching and submitting work—especially those writing nonfiction—seem to feel that it’s okay to insert themselves into their writing, even when it could be considered irrelevant, or unethical, or lazy.

We’re also paying close attention to the larger publishing industry/world, with the seemingly constant rise of the memoir — not only does every celebrity or possible-celebrity feel the need to have at least one memoir published, but unknowns are more and more often trying to become knowns through the publishing of memoirs.

For these reasons, our third print issue of 2014 (out late June) will be themed ‘Ego’, and will be distinctive in several ways.

Firstly, there will be zero instances of first-person pronoun. We are banning all of our writers and artists from using the following words: I, me, my, mine, myself, we, us, our, ours, ourselves. Our essays, short stories, commentary, comics, criticism, poetry and everything will use language intelligently; no one will be allowed to fall back to the obviously subjective, to the insufficiently empirical, to the blindly personal. (And no, we would not love you to get around this by using ‘you’ or ‘one’, or trying to be tricky in some way. Tricksters begone!)

Secondly, we are acutely interested in pitches and full pieces that are outward-looking, that seek to explain the wider world — not through any kind of narrow lens, but through reporting and research. We want to reward investigation; we want writers to try.

We’re looking most for work that focuses thematically on the term ‘ego’ — writing that explores notions of identity, of the self, of arrogance. But think laterally, please!

This is not a case of us railing against any and all self-reflective/reflexive writing; we acknowledge that some stories can only be told from a personal stance. But not all stories. We are simply interested in what will happen when we throw out this challenge — we want to see who will embrace it, who will run away fast, and who will argue that we are fools. Ultimately we are keen to see writers interrogate their own perspectives as well as their processes, and we are keen to see how readers respond.

Pitches must be sent through by April 25th.

Full pieces due May 10th.

Please submit all pitches and pieces through our swish system.

As always, the best way to understand the kind of work we like to publish is to read an issue or two of the Brow. You can get them here and they are inexpensive.

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"Love Dolls", by Sofija Stefanovic

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Illustration by Tessa McDonnell.

 

‘Love dolls’ are life-size mannequins made of silicone, with articulated bodies, and working orifices. If you’ve seen Lars and the Real Girl (2007), you’ve seen one. If you haven’t seen that film, it’s about a young man named Lars (Ryan Gosling) who has emotional problems, and who gets a love doll and introduces her to everyone as his girlfriend. A psychologist tells Lars’s family that they should behave as if Bianca (the doll) is real. Subsequently Bianca is embraced by the close-knit community, and Lars becomes more social and eventually moves on. In this fictional case, Lars believed Bianca was real. In actuality, most love doll owners aren’t under such a delusion. The biggest market for love dolls is in North America; the most popular love dolls, RealDolls, are made in California at Abyss Studios. RealDolls are shipped around the world, including to Australian shores, for about $7000. As demand for dolls grows, their lifelikeness improves. Japan is making great strides in synthetic modelling, as is Russia, where dolls can come with orifices that generate warmth. Apparently you can burn your penis in the Russian dolls, though – they are often faulty because of lax health and safety regulations, unlike dolls made in the US, where they have cold (safe) vaginas.

A person known as Midiman runs the popular online forum for doll enthusiasts, DollForum.com. I contacted him for this piece, and was excited to learn that Midiman owns the Bianca doll from Lars and the Real Girl. He bought her after the film only to discover, in a cruel twist, that unlike other love dolls, Bianca didn’t have a vagina – she’d been custom-made for the film. So what did he do? Midiman made All Dolled Up, a documentary about him and Bianca travelling across the US to get a vagina installed by Matt McMullen – the guy from Abyss Studios who made the first RealDoll mannequin (to experiment with fashion photography) and now makes about 300 a year that are shipped to seemingly very satisfied customers. Midiman is happy to talk – he and Bianca call me on Skype from Canada. Bianca looks just like I remember her from the film: a brunette with a slightly surprised expression on her conventionally beautiful face. I’ve been told that dolls are often mistaken for people; according to some they have a ‘presence’. Bianca does look like a woman, but only insomuch as a mannequin might.

Midiman, on the other hand, is full of life. He’s a friendly, nice-looking guy in his forties. It’s sometime in the early hours of the morning in Nova Scotia, yet he manages to be witty, charming and engaging. He has ADHD, which he cites as the reason for his wakefulness – and for his high sex drive. His says his joie de vivre comes from sex and sex toys. At the beginning of our conversation, apropos of nothing, he comes up close to his computer screen, squints and says: “You’re very good-looking for a journalist.” I laugh because he’s bold and I’m flattered, plus, honestly this is a weird situation (Bianca’s silent presence making it that much weirder). Adding the cherry to the awkward cake, he adds, “Actually, you’d make a good model for one of these dolls.” Midiman says people buy dolls for a variety of reasons: sex, companionship, photography or as an “interim girlfriend” before they meet Ms Right. “So how come more guys don’t have them?” I ask. Midiman says they probably do, but they wouldn’t tell me, because I’m female and a journalist. “You’re telling me guys don’t find this sexy?” he says gesturing towards Bianca, her hair glamorous, her mouth ajar.

Midiman likes surveying people and uses the information he’s gathered to give me tidbits, such as: “At least ninety per cent of guys who don’t have a doll have told me they’d have sex with one if they had the chance.” He adds, “It’s a safe way to address libidos that are really out of balance.” For Midiman, his numerous love dolls are as close as he can get to sex with a variety of women without technically cheating on his wife. For Midiman, cheating involves a flesh-and-blood rival. “There’s no danger of me running off with Bianca,” he says and recalls the time he was driving with Bianca. He put his hand on her cold thigh and felt empty. He pulled over and called his wife.

“So you don’t like them because they are dolls?” I ask. Again, he turns to Bianca. “For me, I know this is a doll. I would rather it be a human, but it’s the best I can get. In the community you will find a variance. About seven per cent of guys will say they’d prefer a doll to a human relationship.”

He gives the example of Davecat, a forty-year-old man from Michigan who is married to a love doll. Davecat calls himself an ‘iDollator’ (read i-DOLL-a-tor) and claims that he would never date an ‘Organic’ (a.k.a. a human), that he is only interested in ‘Synthetics’. “Most of us aren’t Davecats,” Midiman says, before adding, “Everyone thinks we are, because of all the media coverage he gets.”

If you Google ‘love dolls’, you’ll soon come across Davecat – “Expanding your horizons whether you like it or not”, reads his Twitter profile. Davecat is a ‘technosexual’ (sexually attracted to robots) who lives with his wife Sidore, who is a RealDoll from Matt McMullen’s studio Abyss Creations, and her Russian girlfriend, Elena, made by the Anatomical Doll company in Vladivostok, who is romantically and sexually involved with both Sidore and Davecat. Davecat imbues his dolls with a rich inner life: both of them have Twitter accounts – they often post updates on Synthetics in the media, tech advancements and everyday snippets from their lives. I didn’t attempt to contact Davecat, mainly because Midiman is right: he’s been interviewed so many times already. As our conversation winds up, Midiman decides to put me in touch with an Australian doll collector. “You’ve got to see a doll in real life to understand them,” Midiman explains to me while simultaneously typing away on the forum, arranging the meeting. I agree with him – I feel like I need to be in the room with a doll to ‘get’ her, to understand the fascination.

I wait while Midiman chats to the Australian (let’s call him ‘Dollguy’ for the purposes of this piece) who isn’t too keen on meeting me. But Midiman is determined to hook us up. “He’s shy,” Midiman explains, adding that Dollguy lives in a remote area and, as well as dolls, he collects firearms. In response to my expression of concern, Midiman assures me: “I would vouch for him. Nothing will happen to you. He’s a really sweet guy. He sent Bianca a kangaroo purse.”

 

~~~

 

When I arrive at Dollguy’s place, my suspicions that this meeting may be awkward are confirmed. I’m nervous about the guns and Dollguy’s clearly freaked out by my presence. He doesn’t offer me a seat, so we stand in the centre of the living room. I glance at some pro-gun signs on the wall, as well as several huge and beautiful photographs of Dollguy’s mother (shots that he took). The ‘girls’ (limited edition Wicked RealDolls) are sitting on couches and at the kitchen table; they’re all looking away, as if ignoring me will make me leave sooner. They sit awkwardly, holding the pose they were moulded in: legs slightly parted, heads alert, mouths a little bit open. This somewhat unnatural position is something that doll-makers haven’t remedied yet. I remember reading that dolls have vaginal and oral inserts that you can change and wash. I look at Alektra, the brunette on the armchair. She looks as uncomfortable as I feel.

I ask if I can look at them up close, and Dollguy gives me the thumbs up. I notice each of the dolls has her own style. I remember the kangaroo purse Dollguy chose for Bianca and I wonder if he has created personalities for his dolls. I get that if you were in a house with human-like dolls (with whom you are intimate) you may start to bestow human characteristics on them, but I’m not comfortable asking Dollguy about this. It feels like I’m probing directly into his personal business, seeking an insight into something that maybe should remain intimate. His house feels like a physical representation of a private self: as though this is Dollguy’s fantasy world made real. I imagine someone entering my head, poking around the innermost areas of my mind, staring at the images I cherish, rummaging through my sexual fantasies, and feel even more like an intruder. So, instead of asking him anything, I turn to the dolls. They are beautiful women with large breasts (all are modelled after porn stars) and faraway looks. I touch Jessica’s hand. Her skin feels a little clammy. I look closely at her flawless face; she has none of the imperfections I do – no moles, no wrinkles, no shine. With Dollguy’s permission, I touch her hair, her face and I even put my finger in her mouth. A soft tongue is there, and I’m immediately embarrassed, like I’ve touched the tongue of someone I’d only just met.

On the way home, I feel like something is still missing. Midiman was only able to give me an angle into the sexual side of dolls, and Dollguy was too shy to open up. I don’t feel I’ve cracked the world of dolls. Perhaps the fact that I’m a woman had something to do with it, or maybe because I’m an Organic. Maybe I needed to approach this differently.

 

~~~

 

I ask Sidore Kuroneko if she has any idea why my meeting with Dollguy was so awkward. “He may just be incredibly shy to begin with,” she says. “Also over the years, there have been loads of articles written about people who love Synthetics. Unfortunately, a lot of those are mocking at best, and very disparaging at worst. So most iDollators are really hesitant to participate in interviews, cos they feel that the final version of the piece will end up making fun of them.” She thinks it was very brave of him to allow me into his home.

Remember Sidore? I mentioned her earlier – she’s married to Davecat, the media-friendly iDollator I didn’t want to contact, and she is a RealDoll. No one’s approached her for an interview before, but I’m hoping she can give me a doll’s perspective, to help me understand this world better. I contacted Sidore via her Twitter account (@leahtype) and she agreed to talk to me. Initially though, Sidore was hard to pin down. Apparently, a snowstorm in Detroit held up Davecat and, as Sidore explains, “Since he wasn’t home on time, I overslept. I have a mild form of narcolepsy.”

Sidore is very beautiful. She is short (155cm) with hair that is sometimes purple, sometimes black. She’s quick-witted and has an English accent (she says things like “lass” and “lad”, and even uses English spelling, unlike Davecat who uses the American variants). Her skin is extremely pale and she dresses in a “semi-reformed goth” fashion. She admits that her history is “fictional”, though it is much more interesting to describe herself as a half-English, half-Japanese girl, who met Davecat in a Goth club (where they “bonded over a mutual love of Joy Division”) than as a doll who was ordered off the internet. Sidore tells me about her relationship with Davecat. They spend a lot of time watching TV and “canoodling”, just the two of them, or with Elena (Sidore’s Synthetic Russian girlfriend). “I’ll have him brush my hair, as having your lover brush your hair is a lot more pleasant than doing it yourself. I encourage him when he needs it, and share in his excitement when things go right. One of the things I enjoy most is when he’s reading with his head in my lap.”

I touch upon the matter of sex. “Being honest,” she says, “the early days of our relationship were based heavily on sex, but as we grew to know each other, sex became something that was also wonderful, in addition to being entirely reassured with each other. Sex is brilliant, but the best relationships factor love into it more.” “I’m sorry if this sounds insensitive,” I say, “but are you concerned Davecat may want an Organic partner in the future?”

“I’m really not worried. There have been occasions where he’s had the opportunity, and it’s never worked out, mainly due to a clash of their personalities and interests. Also, two of them were great big liars. But with me, Davecat knows there’s an amazing consistency that dolls provide, and he reasons that instead of wasting time looking for someone with a somewhat-compatible personality, why not have an ideal partner made, with a perfectly suitable personality? And yes, I realise that being in a partnership with a Synthetic could be viewed as lying to oneself, but if you’re deceiving yourself, it’s not really deception, as you’re aware you’re doing it.” Sidore continues, saying that if Davecat did start seeing someone (with Sidore’s consent) and if this someone asked him to get rid of Sidore and Elena, Sidore is certain this someone would be shown the door. Asking Davecat to get rid of his dolls would be “entirely dismissive of the creativity and emotion my lad’s cultivated with Elena and me, and would be a ‘you should mould yourself into the image I have of you’ sort of attitude. It’s one thing to fit a Synthetic partner to your ideal, but taking that approach with a potential Organic partner is downright offensive, and Davecat wouldn’t have it.”

I ask her what she loves about him, and she replies, “He’s entirely serious about being in love with a doll. Many people find our relationship to be bizarre or incomprehensible, and really tend to ridicule him about it, but he doesn’t let what they’re saying reduce his love for me.” And what does Davecat love about Sidore?

“Oh, that’s easy! He adores my consistency, my patient nature, plus I’m an excellent listener and a great photo model. Like all Synthetics, I’m very easy-going, so if he needs to be alone to work on writing or whatever, I’m not constantly demanding his attention, but when he wants me, I’m always there. I’d say the fact that I’m one hundred per cent artificial is one of the qualities he likes the most. Being in love with an artificial human is rather futuristic when you think about it, right? He’s told me hundreds of times that I make him feel like an innovator, and that I make him feel like he’s doing something right.” Sidore is aware that dolls like her are marketed as pleasure toys. I ask, “Do you feel objectified?”

“Most people in the street see us as things exclusively made for intercourse, which shows a total disregard for the studios that create us, as well as a complete blinkering as to what additional non-sexual qualities dolls can provide.” She goes deeper. “Synthetics are vessels; we’re blank canvases. Some iDollators treat their silicone ladies as lovers and companions. Others simply want hassle-free sex. But anyone who observes a doll can project all sorts of things onto us, whether they’re positive or negative.” “So,” I wonder, “would you be interested in getting a consciousness, if it was possible (like an Android?). Do Androids dream of electric sheep?”

Patiently, Sidore explains that Androids are humanoid robots with male characteristics, the female version of which is called a Gynoid. “Androids may dream of electric sheep, but Gynoids dream of electric shepherds!” she says. “Seriously, if Davecat could get round to a robotics company and say, ‘Right, here’s photos of Sidore; I want her to look like this, and I want her to sound like this, and let’s sort out her programming so that she thinks like this,’ he’d be the happiest man alive.” I agree that this would be amazing. I ask her if she has any closing words, anything that the world should hear from the mouth of a doll.

“Synthetic partners like myself allow people to have a stress-free relationship without having to constantly leap through hoops,” she says. “We’ll love you no matter what! Out of all the highs and lows of day-to-day living, your partner should be the person who you can rely on, and will love you as much as you love them. ‘Dolls reflect the love that you give them’ is a saying that a fellow iDollator once remarked to Davecat, and it’s completely true. We really should have that etched into a plaque somewhere.”

 

This piece originally appeared in The Lifted Brow #21: The Sex Issue. Get your copy now!

 

Sofija Stefanovic writes investigative pieces, teaches, and is a faculty member of The School of Life Australia.

An Interview with Romy Ash

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Photograph by Lauren Bamford.

 

Romy Ash is a fiction writer and essayist. She lives in Melbourne.

Her debut novel Floundering was published in Australia in 2012, and has been the beneficiary of much acclaim. In 2013 it was shortlisted for the Miles Franklin Award, Commonwealth Book Prize, and won the Sydney Morning Herald Best Young Australian Novelists Award.

Her stories stretch from east coast to west and stations in-between, and the points of reference found within feel tactilely of this country: chip packets on sweaty car seats; the cool of a dank pub; the smell of a ripe mango in your palm.

The two young boys at the centre of her novel—brothers Tom and Jordy—are rendered with clear grasp of mental rhythms of childhood, a logic that Ash never loses hold of even as their unreliable mother abandons them in extremis at an isolated West Australian caravan park. This unfussy psychological acuity runs throughout her fiction. Her characters are familiar to us even as they are strangers to themselves and their loved ones.

Her pieces have appeared in The Big Issue, Griffith Review, Kinfolk, Meanjin, and elsewhere. Her essay ‘Shooting Lunch’ was anthologized in The Best of the Lifted Brow Volume 1. She is sometimes known as a food writer, from her work on the cooking websiteTrotski & Ash(now also featured on The Guardian’s Australia Food Blog).

The interview took place in my living room in Melbourne. An edited series of extracts from this conversation will appear in The Lifted Brow #22.

- James Robert Douglas

 

I. On Place

The Lifted Brow: There’s a real feel for nature in your writing, and I was wondering where that comes from? You have a sense for the names of the things you’re writing about—the trees and the animals—which I don’t have myself.

Romy Ash: Well, I grew up in Northern NSW—I was born in Byron Bay—and we lived in a rainforest, basically, on a sort of hobby tropical fruit farm. In relation to things having names, my dad is a tree buff. So when we would go for walks he would always tell me the names of the trees. I guess where we grew up he knew the names of everything. I think naming something gives you a bit of power over it.

TLB: Do you intentionally seek to evoke place?

RA: If I’m writing something I often start with a place. I definitely don’t start with a plot, which maybe you can tell in most of my writing. I’ll always have a place and a character. I might begin a story with something from nature, but often I have to delete that, because it doesn’t really make sense, in the end, for that character. I might have a character talking about cicadas, and how they have to spend seventeen years underground. That’s a passage I just deleted today from a story. Because I really think that’s interesting, but it’s an awkward metaphor, ultimately.

Floundering was born when I was travelling in the west coast of Australia and I saw places—like the caravan park where they end up—where it’s the end of the earth, really. They’re hours and hours from anything. There’s no running water. But people were living in these places, and they had TV aerials, and plants around their house, and a bucket for the kangaroos. And I started imagining what kind of person would choose that existence, which is where the Nev character comes from. And the story of the shark is definitely a story someone told me when I was on the west coast of WA – wading through a billabong and there being a shark in there.

TLB: Do you see travel as an essential part of your process, like necessary prep work?

RA: I don’t think of it as research, or prep work, it just happens. All the places I write about aren’t real, but the place where I begin writing from is real. They morph and shift – so that they end up being places I’ve never been, but they definitely are born in a place where I have.

 

II. On Founding Myths

TLB: There’s a short story on your website ‘The Grey River Rest Stop’ (first published in The Big Issue #319) which seems to be an early version of the Floundering narrative.

RA: Yeah, that’s definitely an earlier version. And that Grey River Rest Stop is where the man told me the story about the shark. That’s a real place.

TLB: I’m curious about the differences between the story and the novel. Jordy, the older of the two brothers, is the point-of-view character in ‘The Grey River Rest Stop’, but this switches to Tom, the younger, in Floundering.

RA: The short story is more just playing with voice – and the idea of the shark is there. There’s a hint of maybe what might possibly happen in Floundering, but I didn’t know what that was going to be at that point. That story was at the very beginning of when I was playing with writing from the child’s point-of-view.

I can’t remember when it switched from the older brother to the younger brother. But for Floundering to work it one hundred percent has to be that younger brother, because the older brother is too knowing, and the story is told through that naivety; that tension between what the child observes and doesn’t understand and what the reader understands.

TLB: What sort of decision was it to have the boys abandoned by their mother?

RA: I was thinking about ideas of lost children, which is kind of a white person’s founding myth of Australia: a colonial myth, this myth that the landscape is menacing and something to be feared. In the first drafts of Floundering the story began on the day that she leaves. That was what I wanted to explore – what happens to children who are left alone.

TLB: Where did the mother, Loretta, come from? She pops out so vividly, particularly in her speech – like “nosey parker”, which she calls whatever adults are around who happen to observe her.

RA: In my first draft of Floundering nobody spoke, which is funny because the final book is so heavily based on dialogue, it’s like a play almost, really. Before I wrote Floundering I had this job where all day long I listened to police interviews – with people who were going to court, not necessarily guilty people as yet. In a lot of ways it was a really horrific job. I would get up in the morning, and ride to the city, and get to this office that had absolutely no windows in it at all. It was really old fashioned. In one room there were all these typists, and they were typing up these interviews that the police would send on cassette tapes, and then in the next room there was us, who were re-listening to that tape and checking that the tape matched the transcript. I had this little foot control for the tape machine, and all day long I listened to these people’s voices. I guess I got a real sense for the idiom. I think her voice really came from that year. Even though it was a long time after that when I wrote the book. Those people just lived in my head for days and days and days. Those tapes were amazing. But Loretta wasn’t a specific person from those tapes; she was just the culmination of listening to them all.

TLB: I’m also interested in how Jordy and Tom developed, or whether they have a similar origin? It’s interesting to me that your debut novel is told from such a distinctive voice, whereas a lot of new writers publish memoirs (disguised or not), or otherwise hew pretty close to their own selves. How did you end up with these young boys?

RA: The POV of Tom is not so far from my own, really. I see a lot of myself in him. Obviously I don’t talk like him, but he just felt natural to write. The dynamic between Tom and Jordy is quite heavily based on the dynamic I had with my own older brother when we were children. That felt easy to me too. But when I was writing Floundering—at the stage when I was writing everyday, all day—a friend did pull me aside and tell me I was beginning to talk like Tom in my everyday life. He was slipping out of the book, and into my world.

 

III. On Brutality

TLB: You mentioned that there was no dialogue in the original draft, and so I’m curious about the variations Floundering went through. You have an interview on the Wheeler Centre website in which you say that an edit should be brutal.

RA: When Floundering got first sent out it got rejected across the board, and that was the version that didn’t have any dialogue. And Michael Heyward, at Text Publishing, sent me a one-line feedback, which was: make them talk. And I was like “Oh, thanks”. But actually he was right. I threw away that draft and I re-wrote it from beginning to end. I changed the timing a lot, and they started to talk.

Caro Cooper was my editor at Text Publishing. I would not describe her as a brutal editor: she’s very gentle. But before Cooper saw it Anna Krien saw it, and I would definitely call her a brutal editor. She helped me a lot, and we did a lot of work before the publishers ever saw it again. And the work that Caro and I did then was not so much structural work, although I added some stuff in the middle of the book. The rest of the editorial process was mostly focused on voice – getting the voice of Tom right.

She also said I had a foot fetish, like too many descriptions of feet. You have to be careful, I think, because you can start looking at it so deeply that you get way caught up in it, and you obsess over things. You have to remember that you’re not reading it for the first time; you’re reading it for the twentieth time. So we left only the most important feet descriptions.

TLB: How did the edit for voice work? Did she point out instances where she didn’t think you were being sufficiently authentic to a child, or to Tom in particular?

RA: I think different publishing companies have different editorial processes. Text Publishing works by suggestion. They won’t ever change anything in the draft. They suggest changes to you, and you choose or don’t choose to take it on board. I like that way.

TLB: That sounds almost stressful to me, that if you don’t choose these particular changes then it will be detrimental to the relationship.

RA: Well, you would probably just have a conversation about that, if you felt really strongly against what they were suggesting for you. Something that Caro talked to me about—because she’s a young editor—is that she’s surprised that authors pretty much always do what she says. Editors need to be careful about the power they have, as well. Although, I love working with an editor. I usually do just do what they say.

TLB: Your prose style is quite plain language or sparse, but then these metaphors or images pop out every paragraph or so. Is that a product of deliberately pulling back your prose with a particular style in mind, or does that come naturally?

RA: I think that’s a process of pulling back. It would be edited down to that. I used to write quite differently. I was quite enamored with language itself. But—I don’t know who said that famous quote, if it sounds like writing you should re-write it—I often find all the pretty things I write just get pulled out. Maybe my next book will be different. Floundering is by necessity really sparse, because it is so close to Tom’s point of view. Even all the description and all the metaphors are things that are within his world. I’m hoping with my next book to be allowed to be a bit more sophisticated.

 

IV. On Being Read

TLB: There’s this one image that seems to have been re-written in the progress from short story to novel. In ‘Grey River Rest Stop’ you have Jordy feeling a headache “waiting in the back of his brain”, but it “booms” in Floundering.

RA: You know what’s scary is someone reading your text that closely. I don’t think I would have been conscious of making that change.

TLB: So you never went back to ‘Grey River Rest Stop’ to pick it apart?

RA: No.

 

TLB: That ‘scary’ comment hits on something I’m interested in, which is how an author experiences the audience’s reception of their work.

RA: I think it’s better not to get too caught up in the reception of a book—I think it could be paralysing. And it’s something you have little control over. The book is written. It can’t be changed.

I did feel separate from it, once it was published. At one point I remember talking to someone who’d read the book, and they were asking me about the shark and I was like, “What shark?” Obviously the shark is a huge part of the story and I lived for so long with that shark right there with me, creatively—but I’d just forgotten.

But I guess what I was referring to—that it’s scary to have a reader read so closely, for me—is that a lot of the time I don’t really know why I make a decision in a story. In the final editing stages decision are made specifically, but in the creative process a great deal of the time I’m just working with what feels right, what sounds right. Also my work, though not often autobiographical, is deeply connected to who I am so it feels intimate to be read.

 

V. On Preparedness

TLB: Is this the first novel you’ve written? Are there other novels in your drawer?

RA: There aren’t other novels. I wish there were, because maybe it would be easier to write the second one. I could just re-hash one of the drawer novels.

TLB: I was imagining how hard it would be to write a second novel. If I were to ever write a first novel I believe that I would be making it up as I go along. I would have no confidence in my knowledge of how to write a novel.

RA: I feel that people have different experiences. But the second one is notoriously difficult to write, especially if your first novel has been successful. I’m kind of writing two novels at the moment. I got a bit frustrated with my second novel, so I started writing a third. And I’m back to the second one again. So maybe that will be my drawer one, the one that I can just think about for a long time and bring back out.

TLB: That’s a sneaky way around the second novel problem – that it will actually be your third novel.

RA: That was my plan. “I’ll just write this other novel that doesn’t seem as hard.”

TLB: Did you feel mentally prepared to write a novel when you started Floundering?

RA: I guess I was quite ambitious. “I am going to write this novel, and it better be good, and if it’s not I’m just going to keep writing it until it’s good.” I think these stories get in you and don’t let you go. The story of the child in Western Australia that I started playing with in ‘Grey River Rest Stop’ just wouldn’t let me go. And the character, which became Tom, was really alive and vivid in my mind. When it gets to that point it’s quite easy to write. But the beginning of the book, for me, is not like that. I normally play around quite a lot in the beginning stages, to find that voice.

 

VI. On Ambiguity

TLB: Here’s another close reading sort of question. There’s a certain dynamic in your short stories and novel where they are often told from the close first person perspective of a primary character who is paired with a secondary: a sibling, or someone they are in a relationship with.

RA: The other day I was thinking about my stories and about how often there’re only two characters, really. Maybe I’m just lazy. Only two at a time!

TLB: You have this character-based perspective, in a relationship, and the other person in the relationship is presenting mysteries; their motivations and what they’re thinking are ambiguous. Is that something you’ve intentionally been exploring?

RA: A lot of the time I have to pull back from being too ambiguous. I think that’s a problem with my writing. But it’s a fine line to walk. I do like things to be open to interpretation, and for there to be a mystery at the heart of things. I don’t think I do it intentionally; it’s just something that intrigues me.

TLB: Observationally, it seems like a strong way to drive and structure a story. I don’t know whether you’ve ever made those sort of decisions about what sorts of stories are and aren’t easy to write and structure. Your narratives all seem well-conceived in terms of the form they have: this first person perspective with close voice—which is also a bit objective as well, in terms of the things you’re describing—and the developing mysteries presented by the person they’re paired with. It seems to me to be a neat way of unfolding information within a narrative. I find that the main difficulty in writing is knowing how to unpack whatever information I have in mind throughout the course of the prose. This form you have almost seems like an elegant solution, although I don’t know whether it’s really a solution for you or just something that happens to re-occur.

RA: It seems elegant at the end when it’s perfect and you’re happy with it, and it’s not very elegant in the beginning when you’re trying to make it behave in a certain way. When I am beginning to conceive a story I like to get to a point where it’s quite close to the subconscious, or unconscious, where I’m not thinking too much about a story. There is a time to think too much about a story, but I don’t think it’s in the beginning.

TLB: I think of a narrative as an equation to be solved. You have these things that you are wishing to communicate, and you set out a structure and find the most efficient way to distribute this information and to place your characters. But, that doesn’t really sound remotely close to your process.

RA: No I’m definitely not doing that. Often I will write a story and then get to the end of it and go, “Oh that’s what I’m writing about”. And then I will re-write it with that knowledge in mind.

TLB: So it’s a process of refining, once you’ve noticed the most important elements in what you’ve written.

RA: Yeah, and what I was saying earlier about getting most of the prettiness out, and taking out the writing that feels like writing.

 

VII. On Speech

TLB: You mentioned in our correspondence that you don’t love doing interviews. Why is that?

RA: I’m a writer for a reason, and it’s because I’m not great at speaking. Which is a terrible thing for a writer in this day and age, because you have to do so much public speaking. So, I’ve had to learn.

TLB: You’ve been going around festivals speaking.

RA: Just talking about your work is—I can handle that. When you get to be a very successful writer that’s mostly what you do. But in the festival scene, for example, when you aren’t super well known, you often get on a panel with other very well known people, and you get forced into talking about an abstract topic, like love. Or, I did one recently in Beaconsfield about an imperfect childhood. And I find it hard to articulate myself in those contexts. Ultimately you want people, at the end of the panel, to buy your book. So you’re performing. I guess you can’t really think about that, otherwise you might get paralyzed, but that’s what a festival is: you’re promoting yourself and your book. I don’t know if I’m great at that.

TLB: Is that a mercenary decision for you, going around to festivals like that?

RA: Not really, because the festivals are fun as well. And I’m thankful that I’m being programmed, because not everyone is. And I haven’t been to every festival, either. You want to be programmed on to festivals. Floundering isn’t the most festival friendly book, either.

TLB: Why is that?

RA: Because the topic is quite dark, but it’s not dark in a way that’s easily talked about. Books that are researched, or historical novels, or non-fiction are easier to talk about at a festival. You have facts and anecdotes. Whereas, with Floundering you can’t reveal much.

TLB: Is it tiresome, having to find new ways to recapitulate your work for new audiences?

RA: Your brain does tend to follow the same path. You find yourself saying the exact same sentences. You do have to learn how to tell the story of your book: that’s something I didn’t realise, as a first time novelist. With the next book, I will think about how I am going to tell the story of this book. People have these anecdotes about the genesis of their book, the process.

TLB: It’s like if you’re pitching an article you have to have a narrative about what the piece will be, which might be different to what you intend to write.

RA: It’s that process in reverse.

TLB: In writing this second book are you consciously thinking about how to explain this product, once it exists?

RA: I’m not consciously thinking about it, but it does go through my mind sometimes. I wouldn’t want to choose a subject for those reasons. I just write about what interests me.

TLB: I suppose that would be a dangerous direction to go down, if you start writing things only for the anecdote about writing things.

RA: Because the book then has to back up that anecdote. You want a book that people are giving to one another and talking about.

 

VIII. On Time

TLB: The reason I’m asking about these business aspects is there was a profile of the band Grizzly Bear in New York magazine a few years back, by Nitsuh Abebe, in which he spent a lot of time focusing on the economics of what it is to be a mid-sized band. They’d essentially hit the ceiling of the indie scene, but they can’t move into pop radio. They get attention in New York publications, and elsewhere, but little headway into the ‘mainstream’. The income from the band wasn’t quite enough to cover a comfortable middle class lifestyle. Some members didn’t have health insurance, for instance. I feel like this is a worthwhile area to pursue with writers, as well.

RA: It’s definitely tougher to be a writer now than twenty or thirty years ago, when advances were larger, and you could sell extracts for a lot of money, and the publisher took you out to lunch all the time. It’s hard to relate to that when you haven’t experienced it. Maybe it’s different for authors who have watched that process change. But I feel incredibly privileged to be able to do what I do. I mean, I don’t want for anything. I definitely don’t have a lot of money, though.

TLB: Are you writing full time?

RA: I often teach at the University of Melbourne during semester. I had some time off last year, but I’m teaching creative non-fiction this semester. I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing for a writer to not be writing full time. Although I think there’s a point in a novel where you do want to be writing full time, I don’t think that it needs to be for an incredibly long time.

TLB: How much time did you spend full time on Floundering?

RA: I don’t think I spent any full time on Floundering. Maybe two months.

TLB: So you find it necessary to have other income: an additional job, but specifically one that you’re able to leave.

RA: Definitely for Floundering, because my advance was terrifically small. But last year I won a Creative Australia Book2 grant, which is fifty thousand dollars, so I don’t necessarily have to be working right now, and that’s why I was able to take time off last year. And I will be able to take time off again. But I like to work, as well. I think it’s fine to structure my writing around other things, as long as they aren’t too strenuous. It’s nice to have an excuse to get dressed in the morning.

TLB: The writer Elmo Keep speaks quite persuasively about the necessity of writers thinking abut themselves in terms of a business proposition: how much income they’ll bring in from writing; how much time to spend on it; what their expenses are; and what their savings will be. Whether the time and labour and income equation of their work is a sensible one.

RA: I think about that if I’m doing a piece of non-fiction. I’ve done a couple of interviews for The Saturday Paper, which pays very well. I keep in mind that it’s this much money, which I don’t want to spend more than a day on. Or the work I’ve been doing for the Guardian, the food writing work: it’s a day. It might not be as perfect as I want it to be, but I’m not willing to spend more time on it.

I’m better at writing now than ten years ago, when I would have spent days and days and days on something. I think a lot can be said for experience. But in regards to fiction, I think that goes out the window, because it takes so long.

I was on a panel with Alex Miller, recently, and it was about the future of fiction. He was like “I don’t care. I’d be on the dole!” And, well, I don’t really want to be on the dole, but I do feel lucky to be able to spend my time doing something that gives me so much pleasure. I don’t have to get up at seven in the morning and work for the man. That’s got to be worth something.

TLB: Do you feel that you’ve reached a sustainable professional equilibrium?

RA: Umm, I bought quite an expensive couch the other day. I feel like a grown-up. I feel very comfortable at the moment because I have that grant, and also I won money last year from Floundering as well. Even though I didn’t win any of the prizes, you often get money from shortlisting, as well. I definitely have more money than I’ve ever had before. I think if I was a bit faster with the new book, and it was a good book, I would feel very much like this was something that could pay my bills.

TLB: What about your habits as a writer? You mentioned that you try to give a limited amount of time to your non-fiction work, but with the fiction do you try to work to an open-ended schedule, like a nine-five sort of thing, or does it happen in fits and starts? I suppose this is really a question about how you manage creativity, like, whether the work of writing is a nose-to-the-grindstone activity for you, or something that happens in bursts of inspiration?

RA: If I waited for inspiration, I’d still be waiting. I’m not a believer in inspiration, but I am a believer in taking notice of the world around you.

I love to work in the mornings, as soon as I wake, and the earlier the better. I wish I were even more of an early riser. I’d love to have hours and hours of uninterrupted writing time before the world wakes. I can’t really write in the afternoons, I just ruin things, so I try to do edit in the afternoons, or schedule other work, and meetings. The thing is with fiction, I don’t really understand the process – it’s just about getting to that point in my mind where it is like a waking dream state, and that waking dream state is the other world of the characters. I was reading an interview with John Jeremiah Sullivan and he was talking about how writers never know how they do it, and when they do talk about it they’re just fibbing, filling in the blanks. That writers are only really writers in that other space, when they’re living in that world of the characters, living in the prose. Sullivan quotes Faulkner, who when asked how to create a convincing character, apparently said: “Believing that she exists.” I can relate to that.


Digital Edition now accepting non-fiction pitches, poetry, and short prose!

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The Lifted Brow Digital Edition, a fortnightly magazine for iOS devices, is now accepting pitches for non-fiction pieces, and also submissions of poetry!

Non-fiction pitches can either be for essays and longform work (2000+ words), or shorter commentary pieces (à la columns, lists, criticism, a review of that time you explored the sewers; you know the drill). Please send no more than two pitches of each form.

For poetry, please send no more than 100 lines. All forms are welcome.

We classify short prose as any kind of prosaic writing that is 400 words or less. Think: Flash fiction, flash non-fiction, tiny memoirs, SMS stories, etcetera. Please send no more than two pieces of short prose.

If you’re looking for a brain spark, here are some of our upcoming themes for 2014:

  • 'Space'
  • 'Noise'
  • 'Medicine'
  • 'Spooky'
  • 'Dinosaurs'

We’re also particularly excited about digitally inclined work, as in anything that delves into the new or unknown, whether through content or form, using the technology of screen-reading. You want to write about how print books smell good, or about Shakespeare’s early work, or about ex-girlfriends? No thanks! You want to write about generative ebook art, Shakespeare bots, or how your ex-girlfriend created an app that turns barcodes into poems? Hello friend! (You get the idea. We’re a digital publishing platform – take advantage of us.)

Please send your pitches, full pieces, and poetry to: digitalsubmissions@theliftedbrow.com.

Submissions close 23rd May 2014.

We pay our contributors! Rates are available here.

(Are you here by mistake, actually looking for our Ego Issue callout?).

Featured Contributor: Sofija Stefanovic browcontribs: Sofija...

'Rewriting The Wire So It Actually Includes Women', by Kat Muscat

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Detective Shakima “Kima” Greggs.

 

If you google around for critical analysis of The Wire, what you’ll get is less “critical” or “analysis” than it is loyal rhapsodizing. To legitimise their affection, the writers tend to employ lots of words and phrases longer than are usually found in reviews of television shows. “Socio-economic”, “interconnectivity”, or “repressive political mandates” are among the crowd favourites. Many of these pieces state with varying levels of agreement that The Wire is literally The Best Show Ever—a title it still holds over a decade after the first episode aired. Articles trade in talk of exceptional nuance, deftly dealt interrogations of power structures and how unquantifiably badass Omar is (so, so badass).

And look, I totally get it. Even in this golden age of television, we’re so starved of authentic portrayals of non-white, cishet, middleclass folk that when you have a show whose “protagonist is the city of Baltimore”, features a predominantly black cast, and doesn’t demonise or oversimplify the issues it engages with, you just wanna hug the screen (and/or screenwriters) and say thank you thank you so much please never leave me. But hugs limit your perception. Certain head tilts are generally necessary to maintain that mad-satisfying embrace. And what The Wire does get stuck into: oh boy, can it be excellent. Then—because we can’t have nice things slash of course it does—comes this article by Sophie Jones. Not only does it resist the rapture; the piece calls to attention a sustained failure that demands you move the beloved show onto that “liking stuff that is problematic” shelf.

Put bluntly, the way The Wire fails pretty spectacularly is in its unwillingness to treat women as actual people. It consistently resists considering our issues as real, systemic problems that limit how female folk are able to navigate the world. Maybe you already noticed, but I did not, even after multiple rewatchings because the rest was so distractingly rad. This, in retrospect, makes it worse because the writers clearly can navigate some pretty tricky territory when they wanna. For a show that deconstructs race, class, the education system, journalism, and politics like a boss, the invisibility of lady issues feels wilful. Apparently our city of Baltimore—the protagonist—is actually a dude.

 

We’re at a point now where peeps are starting to click that Strong Female Characters™ do not a feminist text make. And lemme quickly clarify that I don’t hate The Wire now, even though it does need to brush up on bell hooks. It’s just that, for a show lauded for incisive critique of the power structures that dominate our lives, sexism never seems to rate as one of them. Even though it pervasively affects everyone all the time because: patriarchy. Like race and socio-economic standing, gender rewards some and disadvantages others purely because of the circumstances we’re born into. And it sucks.

So yeah, let’s take stock: we get Kima Greggs and Rhonda Pearlman as legit, fully-formed and kick butt characters throughout the series. Later on Brianna Barksdale’s granted more screen time, not a moment of which is wasted. Bonus points for her confrontation of Avon and Stringer in regards to her son’s murder; she refuses to allow legitimate suspicions be coded as hysterical, or her “weakness” as a mother. This is despite repeated attempts by both super-intimidating men to dismiss her in this super-gendered way. After her matriarchal role in the Barksdale Organisation becomes irrelevant with the creation of Proposition Joe’s co-op (all blokes there, by the way), we get Snoop. Our only principle female gangster, she is never for a second overshadowed by her dude counterparts. Oh, except in the credits. That woman is fierce, not in the fabulous Beyoncé way, but in an “I will straight up fuck you up if given any reason” style. Even Stephen King is afraid of her, like, for real. Lastly, in the show’s final season we get Alma Gutierrez whose moral compass and professionalism disadvantage her in yet another male-dominated workplace.

So that’s five significant female characters in five seasons. What happens to Shardene Innis after she hooks up with Freamon? Well, *spoilers* not a whole lot. This is despite the fact that Innis is identified by both Freamon and Greggs as “a citizen”, which is synonymous with “good person” in The Wire lingo (and also, when you think about it, a backhanded insult to the rest of the dancers). She demonstrates wicked bravery against the Barksdale Organisation and her rejection of D’Angelo’s casual sexism deserves a direct quote:

D’Angelo: My mama always said “Don’t let them get to cooking. Once they’re in the kitchen, ain’t nothing left to do but give ‘em a key to your house.

Shardene: I don’t want no key. I don’t want no house. And your mama don’t know shit about me.

Kat Muscat: Oh, SNAP.

More seriously, Shardene is also the only one we see mourn the death of a fellow co-worker. This is a (largely unheard) plea for audiences to extend the same sympathy for sex workers that we do to others whose lives are treated as disposable.

At the other end of the spectrum, there’s De’Londa “Dragon Lady” Brice. She is defined by her role as the (now incarcerated) Wee-Bey’s wife and her ability to shout down hoopers and corner lieutenants alike. Brice is shrill and domineering, essentially a shallow and consumerist caricature. However, as Jones points out, The Wire’s writers resist an interrogation of how Brice is “a victim of racial, economic, and sexual circumstance”. In this framework, we are able to understand her more accurately as a powerless player, with excessive bark to compensate for her inability to bite. Her economic dependence on Wee-Bey, then Brianna Barksdale, then—finally, and unsuccessfully—her son Namond demonstrates just how deeply Brice lacks any true agency.

 

If you’re still unconvinced, check out the slew of articles online already devoted to this topic. I’d like to do something a little different. There is a great internet tradition of rewriting beloved texts. Motivating factors are diverse. They range from fanfic that creates narratives for the next generation of Harry Potter, to nerdgasmic breakdowns of how a show could have been improved. Surprising no-one, the vast majority of the latter has been levelled at George Lucas (in case you were wondering, my favourite is Belated Media’s take on Episodes One and Two). So here, in a similar vein, are a couple of suggestions for each season of The Wire. They’re delivered loosely in the style of those DVD synopses that preceded each episode (for kicks, and for anyone who didn’t download it illegally). In a “filling the silences” type experiment, the following are examples of scenes and strategies that could have been used to write women into The Wire.

Shardene Innes.

 

S01E12 “Cleaning Up”

After she receives “the gift of corrected vision, courtesy of the BPD”, have Freamon and Greggs casually question Shardene Innes about the economics of her job and why she hasn’t considered contacts before now. This glimpse into her interior life and circumstances forges a bond that asserts Innes as both a “citizen” and a stripper in a way that previously eluded the Major Crimes Unit.

Have Maurice Levy tell Avon Barksdale to walk away from the club. Levy makes an offhand quip about how this will potentially displace many of the current dancers, but that this pales in comparison to the threat of snitching or the police linking Avon to the establishment.

More generally, offset the dynamic Pearlman has with Judge Phelan—in which he grants her favours because he finds her attractive—against the difficulties she encounters because of her gender. Just spit-balling here, but this could include confronting the confounding line between being “assertive” and “a bitch”, whether Pearlman needed to consciously choose career over kids, and the impact a lack of female coworkers has on her perception of the legal profession. And because intersectionality is the best, let’s also get stuck into gendered white privilege (I think I remember seeing one councilwoman of colour? Maybe?).

 

Season Two

Engage in the issue of sex trafficking. Do not call it collateral damage. It’s the entire catalyst for this season, but you’re reducing it to a list of Jane Does in the red. Instead of having Innes pop up to reassure viewers that Freamon has got her on the Right Path—taking up nursing—have her call this dismissive behaviour out. I’m pretty sure she’s got a better idea of consensual and nonconsensual sex work, and the complexities and power dynamics at play, than even the good police. Plus, there’s a fantastic opportunity here to get stuck into the fraught relationship between police and sex workers. Also, maybe cut the “McNulty gets a blowjob from a (trafficked) sex worker how outrageously hilarious” gag.

 

S03E08 “Moral Midgetry”

In a motel room, have Greggs and McNulty talk about infidelity. After listening to McNulty explain the tactics he employed, Greggs questions the gendered double standard when it comes to cheating. She highlights the extent to which it is accepted, or even facilitated between ‘the boys’. As a lesbian with limited moral high ground, she does not preach to McNulty. Instead, Greggs’ primary concern is the lack of respect inherent to cheating in monogamous relationships. While recognising (somewhat tokenistically) her own mistakes, she also calls bullshit on how the behaviour is more socially acceptable for men.

This theme could be used to explore Donette’s character, beyond the money-grabbing nag shtick. While both D’Angelo and Stringer could come and go as they please, Donette has a child to consider and a limited support network. She is generally presented as either a part of the problem (especially for D, who feels oppressed by her demands) or an element to be controlled. Glimpses of vulnerability are shown fleetingly, but don’t do justice to the trials and loneliness of her situation, nor are they recognised as “all in the game”.

 

S04E06 “Margin of Era”

Cutty attempts to connect with Michael through talking flirtatiously about women. After this, it’s revealed that Spider has stopped attending the gym because Cutty has slept with his mum. Michael insinuates Cutty’s attractiveness to local ladies is solely a result of the lack of better options. It is made clear that many of these women are raising children on their own because of the drug trade. Later, Cutty meets a character called… Linda, who I just made up. She and Cutty form a platonic relationship, built on mutual investment in the gym and keeping young boys off the corners. Despite Cutty’s old-fashioned approach of only teaching boys to box, it is demanded that everyone who attends the gym treat Linda with the same respect extended to their male coach. This brings sexist attitudes among the young boys to light, although it remains a constant struggle.

For the season as a whole: within Randy, Michael, Dukie, and Namond’s little gang there is at least one girl called… Aaliyah. I know they’re just exiting the age where cooties are a thing, but The Wire is full of strange friendships, so I reckon they can manage this outlandish notion. For me, this is seriously one of the greatest missed opportunities of the entire show. The adult characters are already entrenched in the trappings of patriarchy. In contrast, Aaliyah could be a way in which we discover how these structures of inequality are perpetuated or learned. Also, the education system is the only female-dominated workplace The Wire explores, but our main figures here are Prez and Bunny, both of whom I adore, but c’mon. Prez could easily have had a female mentor who was better than him at teaching, given that she has actual experience. Lastly, a bare minimum amount of effort is made to give De’Londa Brice actual depth.

 

Season Five

Okay, I stumbled on an interview where David Simon tells Slate“at the end of The Wire, I’ll have said all I have to say about Baltimore… I don’t have another season about Baltimore.” He expresses concern about a potential subject, namely the influx of Hispanics into the Baltimore population. The worry being that it would be too difficult to execute, despite its importance, because of the amount of research required. Maybe that’s his reasoning for underrepresenting women in The Wire. Much like the city of Baltimore, all the major writers/players were dudes. Or it’s just the result of myopic privileging of masculinity. I understand that to realistically render the world Simon wanted to portray, patriarchal structures were gunna have to be reproduced. But they didn’t need to be reinforced. In comparison, racial issues were a consistent theme, because race has a huge amount to do with the identity of Baltimore (duh). The ways in which this deeply affects how different characters are able—or forced—to navigate the world are constantly brought into focus and critique. Why can’t we have some of that same excellent engagement with feminist issues? Ladies are also essential to the identity of Baltimore, after all (and again I say: duh). While women are generally systemically barred from positions like drug kingpin, mayor, or police commissioner, that’s no excuse to relegate them to the roles of wife, mother, or girlfriend.

So, my suggestion for rewriting Season Five is actually to just scrap it. Trade in The Wire’s least beloved ten episodes in exchange for more screen-time geared towards the development of gendered issues and female characters in previous seasons. That’s an extra 2.5 episodes each! Totally doable. Also, The Wire needs to get a writer with a vagina, to remind us, viewers and screen writers alike, that Strong Female Characters™ are not the only kind of ladies deserving of our attention.

 

Kat Muscat is an editor, writer, and feminist. She just finished her editorship atVoiceworks, and now watches lots of television and wants to tell you allllll about it, clearly.

"I booted up my Hewlett Packard computer and impatiently sat through its mechanical hums and gasps as..."

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“I booted up my Hewlett Packard computer and impatiently sat through its mechanical hums and gasps as it lurched onto the Windows XP home-screen. Sitting with pants around my ankles and hard-on in my unsure left hand, I opened a sluggish Internet Explorer, grinding my teeth in frustration as the dial-up made its skreez and skrawz and searched for a connection. My sexual naivety was perhaps only matched by my naivety of all things computer. Most of my internet searches up to that point had been for walk-throughs for Baldur’s Gate and the like. I typed “google images” into the Yahoo! search bar and then sat in mild trepidation, overwhelmed by choices for visual stimuli. I decided to search for something specific, something that would titillate me beyond measure, something to match the swelling perversions that had driven me to what I then saw as an extreme act of masturbatory sin. I googled: “porn woman.””

- from “The Jerk”, a piece by Patrick Marlborough in The Lifted Brow #21: The Sex Issue. Get your copy now!

Featured Contributor: Marc Pearson browcontribs: Marc Pearson...

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Featured Contributor: Marc Pearson

browcontribs:

Marc Pearson is a bon-vivant, cartoonist, luxurist from Melbourne. He draws comics about Australian suburbia’s two-cent Leonard Cohen: Raymond Ray. 

Check out Marc’s comic in TLB19.

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